I wanted to say something on cousin Linda’s behalf no more than a little over a week ago because I was compelled to, however I simply did not have the proper words to speak & could not muster up the courage at the time.
I think the problem I meet is that no matter what elaborate words I use, it doesn’t matter the criteria I give you to express them or how many paragraphs I write to distinguish who she was or they are it’s still not enough to substitute that persons presence.
So please bear with me. This is just not an easy thing to get up here & do… No matter how much I’ve tried to rehearse it or practice I knew today would be that much more difficult than the last time I felt the need to be a voice for the voiceless & stood in front of some of you.
I cannot sit up here & tell you how to feel about a loss or how you should mourn from it. People handle things differently so to each his own. I suspect a lot will shed tears & I think those tears are just the way the soul bleeds. Sometimes it’s necessary & this is certainly one of those times. I’ve learned though that grief & mourning are nothing more than love & passion with no where to go. So cry, if you have to. Just don’t get too caught up in your tears that they blind you from seeing the places the love needs to go.
I feel shame that I haven’t picked up & called more, checked in or checked on members of the family especially the elders. Must didn’t learn last time about thinking we have more time. The only time we have is now. So caught up with working & paying bills or partying & having fun that we lose sight of the things that mean something. I’m speaking of my own conviction in hopes that if you could relate to it. We can’t take it back with her, it’s too late, but you can still do better with what you do have.
I’m proud of my sister Robette because she made a valid point in a conversation she had with aunt Margaret about doing better with staying in touch. How the next generation has to step up & be more involved with our elders especially. A lesson I have taken note to long before now. Essentially they are who we become & besides that, they need us.
Our nephews & neices are being taught a valuable lesson as well & it will one day determine how they treat us when we get up in age. I think aunt Margaret was proud of the effort put forth to show an overflow of love by those who always have consistently been there for her & those who recently had been in contact with her. You all are owed a great deal of gratitude because I guarantee that you bought her comfort her last days here on this earth.
I have such fond memories of seasons that Aunt Margaret, Aunt Edna & Grandma Louise used to come into town & stay with us. Sometimes it was for the Summer, sometimes it was the winter, others & in between it would be the spring or fall. I was always fascinated by they way they’d make their way around whether coming by the the bus, catching a ride with someone or pulling up in a cab.
It has occurred to recently me how fortunate we were to have shared the times we did playing cards with them, listening to them sharing experiences about growing up, the ghost stories used to be the best you just didn’t want it to get dark when they were being told.
Them favored catch phrases like “Oh My!” & “Weeell!” Used to tell Dad Robert you “Too Hot to trot.”
No I never understood how blessed we really were in those days as a kid but standing here as a man I know how special & great those times really were.
If it takes a village then these queens were at the core of our upbringing. In good times & bad it did not matter we were nurtured by their love, entertained by their candid humor & molded by their authenticity. They don’t make them realer. You better not be up in here sleep cause I promise you Aunt Edna gonna tell.
I don’t know very many stronger because she really was & they are.
She never had to say it but she was another one that treated us with favor. She made you know that your life was significant in the way she interacted with us always with poise, class & grace. You having a bad day ok talk it out, she’d be a listening ear to confide in but before it was said & done, she’d have you straightening your crown & facing the world with confidence again.
When she used to leave I remember she’d say “Get the buckets.” & we’d all be teary eyed passing our hugs & saying our see ya’s. It’s the only occasion as I child that I ever knew she might be crying too bc her family always meant that much to her.
I’ve grieved my loved ones while they were here but I realize that I shouldn’t because they are with me so they should be cherished while I have the opportunity.
We have to bring the circle in a little closer.
Vertna, BJ & Bobby Jr. Aunt Edna & Grandma Louise are at the greatest loss. They are the closest representations of her in the flesh. Two sisters who are the last of a generation that came before us. We should honor them accordingly because every moment counts. They are where the overflow of love for aunt Margaret should go. Respectfully so. That doesn’t mean that we go unaffected by her passing. It just gives us somewhere we can direct some of our emotions. A place we can transform this grief.
It’s what she would want. She was just reasonable like that. She was a voice of reason. She was a reflection of what she wanted the world to be. We are all in some way a product of that.
We must not forget that this is a homegoing ceremony for her & as much as it pains us to say goodbye we have to know that she has moved on to a much better place where she doesn’t have to suffer. To be away from the body is to be present with our Heavenly Father. She is home now with her Mother, Father, Brothers & Daughter. We must celebrate who she was & not forget that she is still here with us in spirit.
I said it not too long ago that we are spiritual beings primarily & fleshy vessels secondary. These worldly experiences are a distraction from knowing our true divine selves.
Were all just in for a season, we just don’t know it most of the time. It’s up to us to make the absolute best of our seasons no matter what storms arise or disasters occur in them.
This is a season of growth & many times growth is excruciating, uncomfortable & painful but after the pain comes progress. There is power in that. As you exercise your body you gain strength just as you exorcize your spirit then you increase your faith.
We have to keep growing & keep the faith. Life is way too short & time is far too precious for turmoil & conflict so forgive often, love each other as much as you can & take care of yourselfs family.